Insanity Workout Day 84: Screw Recovery

3-29-10: Okay, maybe that title is a bit harsh. Still, I am finding that a second day off per week seems reasonable. Five workouts a week are pretty good I wager. At some point I might jump back to six or start doing other things on the off days, but for now I am pretty comfortable with five.

For those wondering what Cardio Pong was which I mentioned a couple posts ago. It is essentially ping pong played with incredible amounts of enthusiasm, created by my sister. Imagine jumping up and down, raising your arms up and down, etc. after every time the ball is hit. Her methods were insane…Shaun T would approve…Thus Cardio Pong was created.

Insanity Workout Day 80: 18 Minutes Short – Day Off

3-25-10: Another cursed Thursday at 8AM meeting. I woke up early, but not early enough. Assuming traffic was good I would have still been 18 minutes late for the meeting if I had attempted the workout. And traffic is always a wildcard.

Since I did Recovery/Cardio Abs last Thursday night and that resulted in Friday becoming an off day, I decided not to try pushing it Thursday night so that I could get a happier workout on Friday.

Insanity Workout Day 77: Monday Isn’t My Recovery Day...Honest!

3-22-10: It seems so easy to skip recovery since it is a miserable miserable workout. Another problem is that I seem to have it in my head that since it is a “recovery” workout that it is much shorter than the other workouts. This is not the case. It is six minutes shorter than Pure Cardio at 33 minutes.

But, really the problem was that I just stayed up too late Sunday night (Monday morning). Since I do not want to get in the habit of skipping the recovery workout every week again, I’m going to try to do it this Thursday. This would switch my day off and recovery for the week. Shaun T is evil. But Shaun T is just and believes in balance (no seriously, there are a bunch of balancing exercises in Recovery), so I think I’ll be okay.

Insanity Workout Day 73: Cardio Recovery/Abs A New Combination and Happily Painful

3-18-10: So, Cardio Abs weren’t awful. It was not as fun as say not doing them. But certainly I had juice left for the world of Recovery.

Cardio Recovery was awful. I’m sure I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, and I’ll say it in the future: This can not be a recovery workout. I feel worse after this one than after all of the other workouts combined. Cardio Recovery is like getting salad for dessert or bran flakes instead of Doritos. The mental anguish of this disparity is huge.

Again, it is mainly the position holds that cause this workout to be pure evil. Do sixteen slow squats. Okay. Did it. Yay me! Okay…now hold yourself in the squat position. Ok. Now try to go lower into the squat and try to bring your thighs together. Ouch. Now let’s do 16 pulses. No…please…no more…Shaun T….please…have mercy. Now, let’s do the same thing with lunges. Please…think of my legs! Now let’s do the squats again...oh why…you are an angry and vengeful fitness guru.

Based on its name, this is the workout that he really is aiming at people hating him for. There can be no other explanation.

On a side note, throwing 48 minutes of workout on my “Day off” day might not have been the best idea. Tomorrow is going to be a tricky fish.

Insanity Workout Day 72: I Showed Shaun T My Pinky, I Told Him It Hurt, He Screamed PLYOMETRICS In Response. This Seems To Be His Answer To Everythin

3-17-10: Happy St. Patrick’s Day everyone! I woke up at an excellent time this morning and was able to complete a workout before work. FANtastic. I mean, this happened yesterday too, but today was the second day in a row and I got up a lot earlier. Getting back into good habits.

I do not believe Shaun T is Irish. Or, if he is, he celebrates by causing pain. I guess we all celebrate differently. I asked him if he believed in Leprechauns. He responded by saying that tomorrow, which should be a day off, will instead be filled with Cardio Abs (in response to my insolence for missing it previously in the week), and Cardio Recovery (in response to my insolence for missing this a few weeks in a row now). I have a meeting at 8:00 AM tomorrow. I suppose Shaun T comes first and I’ll have to keep in mind never to mention Leprechauns to him again.

The workout today was all right. Definitely felt a little tired from yesterday, but also did quite well. The actual workout was not terrible. Oddly, the worst part came during the second iteration of the second circuit where I was supposed to be doing the “basketball” exercise, but instead felt like watching.

I went to the Doctor today and he gave me a much better splint (with several replacements) for the Mallet finger. The good news is that it is not nearly as annoying or bulky as the first splint was. The bad news is that his prognosis is 6-8 weeks, then another 3 weeks of nighttime splint wearing to be sure. No breaks and no surgery, so that is good and the new splint has much better mobility. For instance, I can use my pinky to type now, which I could not with the other one. Definitely less of a hindrance. Thankfully, it is my left hand…so…say…playing Frisbee/throwing the football (and catching it one handed)/Playing most variations of “destructo”/going on Meijer runs can still be handled safely.

Insanity Workout Day 63: Cardio Rec…Day Off

3-8-10: This is getting to be a bit of a bummer. I do not mind taking the days off, but it is unfortunate that I keep missing the recovery day. I feel that Shaun T has his own very special sadistic purposes for his "recovery" day (that he calls it "recovery" is a form of psychological torture.).

It just keeps happening where Monday mornings become difficult. Today, it was due to the 3:00 AM bedtime from the night before. I did not even try to set the alarm for 5:30...I lost the battle before I even went to bed. I will have to redouble my efforts for whichever evil workout is scheduled for tomorrow.

Insanity Workout Day 49: Snow Time to Recover

2-22-10: Snow has been an interesting element in my life. I’ve always enjoyed the snow. Nice to look at and good to play in. Plus, there is always that chance that school could be cancelled, and frankly, a smaller chance that work could be cancelled. In the good ole days of high school, whenever inclement weather was scheduled that would result in a chance of there being a snow day, I automatically assumed the snow day and stayed up until some ridiculous hour. The days that actually turned into snow days were beautiful. The days that weren’t were okie dokie too. Sure, I was extraordinarily tired, but at least I had a productive night of, most likely, movie watching or video game playing.

Now, I suppose I am all grown up and doing the work thing. When I heard there was a chance for inclement weather, I stayed up way too late watching a movie (Man on Fire for those interested). I then woke up way too late, sporadically calling the inclement weather hotline for work. Then I reluctantly went to work. Arriving rather late combined with this being a day I had to work an extra 2 hours, I did not get home until 8:15. Still time for Recovery, but starting to look doubtful. I would need to focus on shoveling quickly to get inside and immediately do the Recovery workout.

I then played in the snow. There was a ton of snow and it seemed like excellent packing snow, so I figured why shovel the driveway when I can make a snowman and clear the driveway at the same time. Unfortunately, after an hour of Shaun T Insanity persistence, I believe the snow was actually TOO packed together. I used every section of driveway and front yard and it still was a dinky little ball. Plus, there were hoards of clumps of snow that were not picked up still on the driveway. Complete failure.

Or was it?

Placing the ball I had made on a small hill of snow in the front yard and shoveling as much snow as possible from the driveway to the hill, I was able to make a fair sized blob-ish thing. I then made eyes, a nose, and a huge grin in it. So, screw the snowman. Enter the Snowblob.

I made it inside after 10:00 PM and decided it was probably not a great idea to do the workout. My only hope is that Shaun T’s secret fear is Snowblobs.

Insanity Workout Day 42: Please…Please…I Don’t WANNA Recover

2-15-10: Today was President’s Day, which of course I had off. Every year I spend this day reading a different biography on one of our great Presidents. Wouldn’t it be weird if I was like that?

What I will say is, Thank God I had the day off. My body resisted getting out of bed until 11:00. This was eleven hours of sleep. My body then told me that today would make an excellent candidate for actually taking a break to let me body recover. My body had a good point, but then the evil chanting of Shaun T resonated within my brain. Then his cruel and unusual logic started demanding a sacrifice (my body). “But Dave, today is the Recovery workout. Didn’t you just say you wanted your body to recover? Maybe the best way for your body to recover is to, I don’t know, do the workout designed to recover you??? Do not make my angry David. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.” To the basement I went.

I do not know how the people on the video are not screaming in pain. They clearly are not doing the “recovery” exercises right. I appreciate truth in exercise films. In the case of this workout in particular, I envision the gym they are working out in to be in the midst of fire and flames, with the participants screaming in agony and pain as they are slowly and brutally tortured by Shaun T (which is almost an anagram for Satan (Satun…H). In this much shorter 25 minutes of hell, I still was drenched in the same level of sweat as the other workouts and my legs certainly hated me a lot more.

Amazingly, writing this at night, I do fell…good. I am suspicious of this good. I will know for sure tomorrow.

Finally, one of my friends and dedicated readers to this blog provided the scientific reasoning why eating right before the Insanity workout is not a bad thing. I was going to paraphrase, but he wrote it quite well, so I’m just going to quote him (and you will not trick me into eating bananas…you crafty S.o.B):

“While it is true that you mobilize more fat stores if you work out first thing in the morning before eating, this is generally done for aerobic exercise at say 60-70% of maximum heart rate. The type of exercise that you are doing has a definite anerobic part to it. That is, the intensity is so high that your body is using energy stores that do not use oxygen. Think of it like this, sprinting is anerobic, close to maximal intensity and you can only maintain this intensity for a short period before energy stores run out. Whereas with jogging you can maintain that pace for a while because the body is deriving its energy from the oxygen pathway. So, you can see that sometimes when Shaun T is asking for more, you are using up your glycogen (anerobic). Since your goal is not to just burn as many calories as possible, but to build muscle and get in shape, then eating before you workout might make the workout more beneficial for your goals.”

Insanity Workout Day 35: Support Groups and Recovery

2-8-10: With much wincing and groaning I made it through almost all of the recovery workout. Again the frozen squat and frozen lunge caused too much pain for normal humans to bear (only the robots on TV could hold such poses). Definitely pushed through quite well. In fact, if the entire Insanity program was this recovery workout, I would almost be a master.

So, a couple more friends are now tracking David Stampor’s Insanity progress. This is another great source of motivation. Now my health and well-being is much bigger than myself. Now a personal failure ripples out across the masses of friends gathered to support me. My simple goal had been to stay active every day the rest of my life. Now, it is to REALLY stay active every day for the rest of my life.

Awesomely, of the people I know following, they all have a vast wealth of knowledge and personal experience to offer to my campaign. It is like I was storming a castle that was 50 miles off and I suddenly starting charging (of course climbing many mountains and taking a lot of breaks when skiing down). Now, I have several military strategists and castle architects to offer sage advice to aid me in my goal of reaching my warring destination.

One piece of advice offered that I may attempt is to start eating before workouts in the morning of workdays. This would break Shaun T’s rule of no eating one hour before workouts. This scares me. Do I trust someone I’ve know for over a decade who has tremendous knowledge in the field? Do I dare disobey Shaun T? He’ll know and he won’t be happy. Clearly, I just need to wake up an hour earlier. This solves all of my possible “being killed by Shaun T” problems. One way or another, this will be attempted tomorrow.

Also, Lil Sarz has offered the services of Kimbo to provide me with a fat% test along with an “actual” fit test. I mean…I mean…a different fit test. I’M SORRY SHAUN T!!!! That will be fun. I imagine it will come sometime when I am in “Month 2” of the workout. Very nice of Lil Sarz to offer Kimbo services like that.

Finally, there is now increased motivation to slam. What started as an amusing side goal now holds vast importance to the life on this planet as we know it…or something. Realistically, I believe my vertical needs to improve by about nine inches to slam an actual basketball. I will check my vertical every Wednesday at my weekly basketball game and give my best estimate. Phew…nine inches. This may be a year end goal. We shall see.

Insanity Workout Day 28: Recovery No Longer Has Any Positive Connotations

2-1-10: Today I woke up extremely late. Even still, Cardio Recovery had to be done and had to be done before work. I feel I did much better...at the FREAKING recovery workout of the week this time. Definitely feel weird that I need to improve at my "recovery" skills. Anyway, there were many parts that I was able to struggle through that I had previously collapsed into a broken mess before (more because of muscle pain than cardio exhaustion).

The killer part, for me, comes when we start the, what else, squats. It starts off in a way where it seems like it might just not be that bad. I mean, we are doing squats, but we are doing them in slow motion. Still bad, but at least I'm not trying to fit 50 of them in a minute. Then he makes you hold the squat position. This burns. This is painful. But, not painful enough for Shaun T. He then demands us to sit lower in the squat and push the thighs inward. This burns. This is painful. But, Shaun T isn't finished. He then demands pulses, or pushing up a little bit with the legs (not standing all the way up). Totally unnecessary Mcmahon. He gives a painful break of another equally evil "recovery" exercise before coming back to this one again clearly because he hates mankind.

I sure do feel recovered! Maybe? I have no idea. Yeeha!

On a side note, Vince let me have a couple of his P90X Nutrition bars. The peanut butter chocolate one was okay. Nothing special. However, the chocolate fudge one was fantastic. Favorite one of these wacky nutrition bar things I've tried thus far. I may have to get some of these if they are not too expensive.

Insanity Workout Day 20: When I Think Recovery, I Think Searing Pain

1-24-10: Funny how this little Insanity workout has changed my perception of the word “recovery”. Now it is more closely defined as pain and suffering. At some point Shaun T clearly loses his mind and starts to create exercises designed by a madman. He has us do slow motion squats. Not disastrously painful, but can definitely be felt. Then he has this wonderful idea for us to hold the squat position, but since that isn’t painful enough, he also has us try to push our thighs closer together. While in searing burning pain, we are then to start doing pulses, mini-squats I suppose. My capacity to come up with fitting expletives escapes me as all I can think is “Wow! My pain receptors sure are working well today! They are certainly on top of their game…ow.”

On a bright note, while this is still a painful day, I can definitely see improvement in this workout, particularly with my balance. There are a lot of crazy “balance on one leg” type drills in this workout, which were difficult the first few times. In fact, it might have taken half the allotted time just to get into proper position before. Now, the “balance on one leg” exercises were not much of a problem. It feels good when improvement is noticed. Yeeha!

Insanity Workout Day 13: Buffet Recovery

1-17-10: So, again, I hate recovery. I mean...I like to recover. Recovery workouts just hurt however. I did not remember doing as poorly on this one as last time. Though, in retrospect, I guess I did take a lot of breaks from the position holds the first time around. It is crazy. While the actual exercises are certainly awful, it is the position holds that are the killer. By the end, my quadriceps were essentially numb and void. Last time this workout magically made me feel better the next day. So, let's see how I feel tomorrow for the second to last workout of the week.

To celebrate...something...MLK day(???)....I went to a buffet in Ann Arbor. I was doing well at the buffet. Eating in some relative form of moderation. Then I saw they had waffles. I love waffles. They also had powdered sugar and chocolate chips. I love powdered sugar and chocolate chips. They also had butter...well...I never usually have butter on waffles...but, well...it seemed to go with the powdered sugar and chocolate chips. I limited myself to six. Okay, I guess I didn't limit myself at all in the end. It was delicious though. As long as I limit myself to two buffets a week? Weird. I think I have to do a bit better.

Insanity Workout Day 4: Recovery...of DOOM!!!

1-8-10: So, knowing I had half a day on Friday, I decided to do the workout after work, since I was still a bit sore from the day before. When I got home, I realized there was a bit of luck on my side. Recovery day!!! Now, of course I wasn't naive enough to think that this was going to be a day off. No idea what to suspect. Only, with Shaun T running things, I assumed the worst, namely 2 hours of globe jumps, sprinting, and...oh...there are so many painful drills to choose from...skiing. Instead, what I encountered was a short little workout revolving completely around stretching.

Now is as good a time as ever to say that starting out completely inflexible makes for the short three minute stretches found in the daily workouts to be extremely painful. Now doing these stretches for 8 times as long (with a few other "I am Shaun T and I hate you" drills) made me wonder whether Shaun T was an extreme sadist or I was an extreme masochist. On the one hand I did not really need too many breaks (on occasion a stretch was held a bit longer than I could hold it). On the other hand, it was painful painful painful.

Magcially, these stretches did seem to help my muscles out and by the end of the day (even with a special home designed workout thrown in called "Snow Shoveling") my muscles felt pretty good. Completely prepared for the next day.